Capricious - Sue

My biggest accomplishment today wasn't discovering a cure for gingivitis or hitting a homer out of the park to win the World Series. I didn't even manage to see what is on TCM.

My biggest accomplishment was cleaning the shower curtain. "Sue," you may be thinking. "You need to set higher standards for yourself." But wait! This was no ordinary shower curtain cleaning. This was using my brand new McCullough Heavy Duty Steam Cleaner. No chemicals! Just steam hot enough to curl hair and annihilate any and all bacteria, scum, germs, crud and grunge. This shower curtain can now hold its own in the finest hotel in New York City. And that, Denizens of the Universe, is a clean shower curtain.

Our new neighbors moved in a couple of days ago. They have three dogs. One is an English Sheepdog, one an Australian Shepherd, and one is some kind of mid-sized, black Terrier. They bark a lot. I don't get much sleep that way. Hopefully, they will calm down as they become accustomed to their new home. When I take over the welcoming cake, I'm going to tell them if they don't keep their dogs quiet, I'm going to press charges. I'm going to get Denver's Finest involved and I'll see them in court. Not really. I haven't baked a cake in thirty years and I'm not about to start now.

I wish Micah had never sold that house. He worked for about a year renovating it. I wish we lived on about five acres, like my brother. I wish we had a Super Max Security Prison electric fence around the perimeter, with armed guards and video surveillance. I wish we had body guards and a swat team living on the roof. Instead, we have a Saint Bernard, a Border Collie and a... and Mac. They are much better about refraining from barking, even when incited by the new neighbors. When they were barking last evening, I took Lisle's leash and whacked it on the ground and they scattered like birds. They seemed to be thinking, "Shit, she really means it!"

After I steamed the shower curtain, I took Pete for a bike ride. I had been sweating, and it was quite cool out, and the breeze felt good. If I keep this bike riding up along with the steam cleaning, I may lose a little weight. I'm going to get buff. When those neighbor dogs bark, I'm going to get the step stool and look over the privacy fence at them. They'll think I'm ten feet tall, and ready to open my can of whup ass. They'll stop barking, and they slink away in terror. If I can annihilate shower curtain crud, I can certainly put a stop to this dog barking nonsense.

Tomorrow, I may break the world speed record over land on a unicycle, or I may see how many beebees I can stack in one column. You see, you just never know what I will come up with next. I may just bake a cake.