Grocery Store...Phyllis

Do you ever go to the grocery store one day and a day later can’t find a good snack anywhere in the house? That’s what happens when I try to be a smart shopper and buy only things that have to be cooked. Nothing ready made. Nothing processed. Only nutritious things that take half a day to prepare. Sue and I don’t have a rigid grocery shopping schedule. Sometimes Sue goes. Sometimes I go. Sometimes we go together.

At the store Sue and I go to, the first thing you see when you walk in is a table full of cakes and cookies. This is not a problem for Sue because she doesn’t like cake and she seems indifferent to cookies. I like cake. And I like cookies. Sill, I manage to get past this first temptation.

The produce section is the first area you come to if you go to your right. And don’t most people circle the grocery store in more or less a counter clockwise direction? Why are the peaches so hard at the grocery store? They look beautiful, but who eats them? They’re hard as bocci balls. What I really like are the red, orange, yellow and green bell peppers…not to eat, just to look at. We have eaten a lot of fruit this summer. The grapes are still fabulous, but I’ve almost had my fill of them. They were huge this year. There’s something suspicious about that. Grapes aren’t supposed to be the size of plums. Near this area are the plants and flowers. There is an aloe vera plant I’ve had my eye on. I’d like to try to make it grow. I haven’t had any luck with them in the past. They require some special care in this altitude and climate. So I have passed it by so far.

If I’m shopping by myself, I usually skip the meat section altogether. I just don’t know how to cook meat unless it’s chicken or a roast I can put in the crock pot. Sue likes a good steak and she knows how to cook it, but I can never cook steak at home that tastes as good as a restaurant steak. Even on the grill, I just can’t get it right. My favorite thing on the grill are hot dogs or chicken kabobs that I make with chicken, pineapple, and peppers.

I easily pass by the candy and chips isle. I only occasionally buy something there. I was on a popcorn kick for awhile, but I’m off that now. Today though, I did buy some corn chips and cheese dip. But that’s unusual. Usually Sue buys that. Also on my list today that I don’t often buy was frozen burritos. I like to heat them in the oven and put sour cream on them. I used to buy them all the time, but lately not so much.

I always stop and look in the office supply section. For my journal, I fill up a notebook about every three months, so I always have a new one standing by. I look at the pens and mechanical pencils, but I rarely need new ones. I will use a mechanical pencil for a year or more. I like to have a couple standing by, but I tend to use only one. I really splurged at Sam’s Club awhile back though and bought a pack of nine mechanical pencils. I also got a giant set of Sharpie pens in every color and a big set of colored gel pens. And that will keep me in pens and pencils for a long time.

I like picking up things that I think Sue will especially like. Today I got her some parmesan chicken with pasta to take to work for dinner tonight. The store was crowded today. I was behind a guy in a black beanie and a t-shirt with a goth design. But all in all, it was a fairly pleasant trip to the store.

Waiting - Sue

I don't like to wait. It's like time stops. The Earth stops revolving, and the stars hang suspended so that even astrological time gets out of sync. Babies born during the time that I wait can never, their whole lives, trust that their signs are true. Right now, I'm waiting, and any baby around the world born at this time, a Libra, will always feel like they just can't get motivated. This Libra will always procrastinate. Since this is the year of the Tiger, any child born in this year will have none of the attributes of a tiger. Instead of being compatible with a person born in the year of the Pig, she will find pigs dirty and reprehensible.

Usually, time flies when you're having fun. Logically, that would mean that when time stops altogether, you're having the least amount of fun. That would describe me right now. I'm waiting, and time has stopped altogether.

Does this mean that I am not aging? Here is the conundrum. You age the fastest when time stops altogether. You age the least when time flies and you're having fun. If you're generally having fun for say, five years at a stretch, you only age six months. It is all dependent on speed and the space in which it travels. If someone traveled to a galaxy far, far away, and traveled very quickly, she would return to Earth to find that her friends would all be engaging in craft hour in the geriatric home, while she would still be listening to 80's rock.

I'm waiting for Lojack to install their thing in my truck. They said someone would be here between 8 and noon. That's a four-hour window. I can do a lot in four hours, but how can I start something only to be interrupted by an installation person? What if I started baking a angel-food cake from scratch, and then had to call in the dogs, open the gate, and act out my characteristic hovering over someone who was trying to work? The cake would be ruined, and I'd still have to clean up the kitchen.

In my little bubble of time-stoppage, I've aged 2.5 weeks. I think I've got a stiff hip. That's what happens when you sit somewhere for 2.5 weeks. I've also got a very tired neck, and three more wrinkles in my brow. I'm not even going to mention the gray hairs.

Three weeks now, and my underwear is giving off fumes. Why can't I wait like a normal person? Why can't I be more patient? Where is the Lojack person? Why isn't she calling me to give me ETA? Three weeks I've waited, which is turning quickly into a month, and soon I'll need a walker. Soon, I'll be too old to drive, and I won't need Lojack anyway.

But then once the installer is done, I'll have so much fun and time will fly so fast again, and I'll stop aging to the point I will actually reverse time. So, there's really nothing to worry about, and no problem with waiting!