Waiting - Sue

I don't like to wait. It's like time stops. The Earth stops revolving, and the stars hang suspended so that even astrological time gets out of sync. Babies born during the time that I wait can never, their whole lives, trust that their signs are true. Right now, I'm waiting, and any baby around the world born at this time, a Libra, will always feel like they just can't get motivated. This Libra will always procrastinate. Since this is the year of the Tiger, any child born in this year will have none of the attributes of a tiger. Instead of being compatible with a person born in the year of the Pig, she will find pigs dirty and reprehensible.

Usually, time flies when you're having fun. Logically, that would mean that when time stops altogether, you're having the least amount of fun. That would describe me right now. I'm waiting, and time has stopped altogether.

Does this mean that I am not aging? Here is the conundrum. You age the fastest when time stops altogether. You age the least when time flies and you're having fun. If you're generally having fun for say, five years at a stretch, you only age six months. It is all dependent on speed and the space in which it travels. If someone traveled to a galaxy far, far away, and traveled very quickly, she would return to Earth to find that her friends would all be engaging in craft hour in the geriatric home, while she would still be listening to 80's rock.

I'm waiting for Lojack to install their thing in my truck. They said someone would be here between 8 and noon. That's a four-hour window. I can do a lot in four hours, but how can I start something only to be interrupted by an installation person? What if I started baking a angel-food cake from scratch, and then had to call in the dogs, open the gate, and act out my characteristic hovering over someone who was trying to work? The cake would be ruined, and I'd still have to clean up the kitchen.

In my little bubble of time-stoppage, I've aged 2.5 weeks. I think I've got a stiff hip. That's what happens when you sit somewhere for 2.5 weeks. I've also got a very tired neck, and three more wrinkles in my brow. I'm not even going to mention the gray hairs.

Three weeks now, and my underwear is giving off fumes. Why can't I wait like a normal person? Why can't I be more patient? Where is the Lojack person? Why isn't she calling me to give me ETA? Three weeks I've waited, which is turning quickly into a month, and soon I'll need a walker. Soon, I'll be too old to drive, and I won't need Lojack anyway.

But then once the installer is done, I'll have so much fun and time will fly so fast again, and I'll stop aging to the point I will actually reverse time. So, there's really nothing to worry about, and no problem with waiting!