If they can put a man on the stage who sings country and western music, why can't they just plop a new car down in my driveway? Why do I have to suffer through spending hours trying to find the title for my "old" car, only to fail, and then having to negotiate a champion obstacle course to get a replacement title? Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?
These are questions best left to progressive thinkers, like Temple Grandin or Lewis Black. If you flutter through life by the seat of your shorts, you not only have to take it one day at a time, you have to take it one moment at a time, like a butterfly. A butterfly never thinks more than a moment ahead. A butterfly smells a flower. A butterfly flutters to the flower. Simple.
I say, "Sure, I have my title at home. I'll just go get it." I flutter home and ten hours later, I still can't find the flower. But it has to be there. Flowers don't grow legs and walk away. Flowers stay where you put them.
This is why I believe in the theory that multiple universes, perhaps billions, exist simultaneously. My title is still there, right where I left it two years ago, somewhere embedded in the stack old electric bills that should have been discarded with the mustard from 2006 that I found in the refrigerator. But it's still there! It's just in a different universe!
Some people flit from one universe to another, smelling and fluttering to the next flower. It might be a crazy life, but it's my life, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Every problem has a solution or it wouldn't be a problem. That's what defines a problem. If it didn't have a solution, it would be classified as a catastrophe. Losing my title in this universe is a problem. I just have to deal with the previous lien holder sending me a copy of bla bla bla and go to Motor Vehicles and get a bla bla bla and then take it to the dealer and bla bla bla. That's a little higher on the scale than an inconvenience, which only has two bla's. An irritant only has one.
So we go sequentially up the scale from irritant > problem > catastrophe. The problem category has the benefit of having a positive, or bright side. Whenever you're faced with a problem, just think "Bright Side," and it will come to you. The following are a few bright side points I encountered:
I found my favorite fingernail clippers. I found the dog nail clippers and I found the receipt for the piano so the daughter can prove how much I paid for it if she ever wants to sell it. Oh, I also found the registration and insurance card for the old car. That went a long way in healthy relations with the Motor Vehicle Department and starting the process of getting a replacement title.
And now, we're on to the next moment, where I believe in a universe long ago and far way, I detect the sweet aroma of magnolias.
