Waiting - Sue

I don't like to wait. It's like time stops. The Earth stops revolving, and the stars hang suspended so that even astrological time gets out of sync. Babies born during the time that I wait can never, their whole lives, trust that their signs are true. Right now, I'm waiting, and any baby around the world born at this time, a Libra, will always feel like they just can't get motivated. This Libra will always procrastinate. Since this is the year of the Tiger, any child born in this year will have none of the attributes of a tiger. Instead of being compatible with a person born in the year of the Pig, she will find pigs dirty and reprehensible.

Usually, time flies when you're having fun. Logically, that would mean that when time stops altogether, you're having the least amount of fun. That would describe me right now. I'm waiting, and time has stopped altogether.

Does this mean that I am not aging? Here is the conundrum. You age the fastest when time stops altogether. You age the least when time flies and you're having fun. If you're generally having fun for say, five years at a stretch, you only age six months. It is all dependent on speed and the space in which it travels. If someone traveled to a galaxy far, far away, and traveled very quickly, she would return to Earth to find that her friends would all be engaging in craft hour in the geriatric home, while she would still be listening to 80's rock.

I'm waiting for Lojack to install their thing in my truck. They said someone would be here between 8 and noon. That's a four-hour window. I can do a lot in four hours, but how can I start something only to be interrupted by an installation person? What if I started baking a angel-food cake from scratch, and then had to call in the dogs, open the gate, and act out my characteristic hovering over someone who was trying to work? The cake would be ruined, and I'd still have to clean up the kitchen.

In my little bubble of time-stoppage, I've aged 2.5 weeks. I think I've got a stiff hip. That's what happens when you sit somewhere for 2.5 weeks. I've also got a very tired neck, and three more wrinkles in my brow. I'm not even going to mention the gray hairs.

Three weeks now, and my underwear is giving off fumes. Why can't I wait like a normal person? Why can't I be more patient? Where is the Lojack person? Why isn't she calling me to give me ETA? Three weeks I've waited, which is turning quickly into a month, and soon I'll need a walker. Soon, I'll be too old to drive, and I won't need Lojack anyway.

But then once the installer is done, I'll have so much fun and time will fly so fast again, and I'll stop aging to the point I will actually reverse time. So, there's really nothing to worry about, and no problem with waiting!

Winter...Phyllis

Summer is over and it’s time to close up the house. There are still a few warm days left, but soon there will be icy drives home at midnight, snow to scrape from the car before work, alternating snow and mud in the backyard and drying clothes in the dryer instead of on the line in the backyard. It usually means the cats are stuck in my workroom, unable to go in and out the open window as they please through the winter months.


We can’t do anything about the snow but today, Sue and I installed a pet door in my workroom window so the cats can still go in and out when the window is closed. This should make for a much easier winter for them and for me. Muffin took to it right away and has been using it all day. The others are still a bit timid. If they could talk, would they thank us for making their little lives a little more pleasant? Yes, I think they would.

Sue has made the living room look like new with the steam cleaner and some elbow grease. She washed the walls and ceiling, the blinds and everything else that she could put steam to. She even made a new Autumn flower arrangement that looks great with the new lamp she bought yesterday. I slept through all that.

There is one advantage to the winter months. They don’t sweep the street from November thru April, so we don’t risk getting parking tickets when we forget to park on the other side of the street on the 4th Wednesday of those months. I’m thinking hard for more advantages, but none are coming to mind. Living is so easy when it’s warm outside and a little more difficult when it’s cold.

I finally received my first issue of Now Playing, TCM’s monthly program guide with interesting articles, rare photos and a challenging crossword puzzle. It’s all it promised to be. So I will be going through it with my yellow highlighter soon so I don’t miss anything. Although, I’ll highlight things and then not really watch them. I rarely sit down in front of the TV and actually watch anything.

This isn’t very funny and not at all interesting.