What's the Matter with Energy?...Phyllis

Matter, energy and mass my Aunt Hootie. Sue has never been to Mass and what’s the matter with energy? I’m all for it. There is a simple reason why two things can’t occupy the same space at the same time: There isn’t enough room! Don’t get involved in Sue’s scam. Don’t send her a dollar. Do you know what she’ll do with it? She’ll buy gum and candy and rock-n-roll records with it is what she’ll do. Send me the dollar and I’ll use it to help pay for her adult day care.

All this talk about laws and hierarchies and vacuums got me thinking about tuna casserole. I asked Sue if she likes it. We still don’t know all of each other’s likes and dislikes and maybe never will. It’s not easy with Sue. One day she is a ‘raw foodist’ and she is eating only raw vegetables. Another day, she is going to eat only free-range eggs and chicken. Another day, she is an ‘intrepid explorer’. Now, it appears she’s a physicist collecting money for some spaceship or something. She said she does like tuna casserole and I said maybe I’ll make some on Saturday.

We got new neighbors today and they appear to have a dog. Sue said she hopes their dog doesn’t bark (even though ours do). Our dogs aren’t annoying when they bark. Other people’s are. Our dogs only bark when necessary and their sound is soft and sweet like a Mozart Symphony for Clarinet (Opus V1). She also hopes they don’t play loud music. Perhaps when she takes a cake over to welcome them, she should give them a list of house rules. And while she’s at it, maybe explain her theories on matter and energy to them.

Sue is right about one thing, though. I do abhor the vacuum. You use it once and you just have to do it again in a month or two. When does it stop? It doesn’t. You have to vacuum for the rest of your life. Think about it. The rest of your life. That uses up a lot of energy. And the vacuum takes up space. And it takes up time.

Time, space, matter, mass, energy … maybe I will give Sue a dollar and buy a ticket for her spaceship to a different universe: A universe where there are no vacuums.