Unless I learn to play Stairway to Heaven on my guitar in the next few months, my biggest accomplishment this year was learning to solve the Rubics Cube. I didn’t actually figure it out myself. I looked up the solution on the internet and printed it out- all seven pages. It took about a week to make sense out of it and to actually be able to do it. It took another while to memorize it. Once I did, I was ready to go public. I was as happy and self-satisfied as a Republican with a new gun.
Not everyone shared the immense admiration I had for myself, though. No one at work was very impressed.
Me: Jenny, I can solve this cube. Wanna see?
Jenny: Go away.
Me: Mark, I bet you don’t think I can solve this.
Mark: I’m busy. Go to hell.
Me: Cindy, wanna see how fast I can solve this Rubic’s Cube?
Cindy: Phyllis, if you come within ten feet of my desk again, I’m going to H.R.
Me: Ok. Well, do you want to see it from back here, then?
Cindy: Go fuck yourself!
I got better response at home from Sue, but the admiration diminished with each demonstration. First time, “Wow! That’s fantastic!” (Very satisfying). Second time, “Wow.” Third time, “Uh huh.” If I go for a forth, she might take out a restraining order on me.
I’ve been wanting to learn Stairway to Heaven for a long time and that’s a skill that won't be so annoying. With the solution to the Rubic’s Cube nestled safely in my noodle, I can give my full attention to this. So, yes. This will be my next project.
And next year, maybe I’ll learn to juggle.
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