Parks and Rides - Sue

Yesterday, Phyllis and I drove over to the park 'n ride where the bus picks up people to take them to the airport. We wanted to find it so that the morning that I leave, we won't be wasting time looking for it. Situations like that cause Phyllis to bite her nails and pull out her hair, stomp her feet and scream.

First, we went to where Phyllis had caught the bus a couple of years ago, maybe three. I forget. Anyway, it was at the old parking structure when the airport was down at the end of Martin Luther King Boulevard. But every entrance was blocked off there, and I screamed, "We can't get in there! We'll never find it!"

Phyllis's eyes got big. It's always best to remain very calm when Phyllis gets nervous, especially if she is driving and you are a passenger. Even if you feel like chewing on the dashboard and punching your fist through the windshield, resist that temptation because that will only get her more hysterical. (hysterical: Originally defined as a neurotic condition peculiar to women and thought to be caused by a dysfunction of the uterus.)

First we went this way, and then we went that way, and desperation gave way to humiliation, regret and finally, apathy. "We'll never find it," I said. "I may as well as never have been born."

"What's that?"

I looked at her like she was the most pathetic excuse for a representative of the human race to ever embarrass the rest of us. "To bring forth young, give birth to, to bear a child. What the fuck do you think it means?"

"Not that! That blue sign. It said, 'Park N Ride' that way."

Suddenly I sat up straight. I heard angels singing, not anything recognizable, but just a harmonious chorus of a long "Oh" syllable. Clouds parted and long rays of light pointed down at the next blue sign, showing us the way.

We made a couple of more turns, listening to the angels and following the rays of light and the signs, until we came to the new Park N Ride. There was a big, full parking lot, and shelters where the buses queue up. There was light everywhere, like being hugged by liquid warmth. There were a few people milling about, waiting for a bus, and they were all smiling, slapping each other's backs and telling funny stories. One man who looked Asian said, "Welcome to new Parks and Rides!" We waved and gave the "thumbs up."

Phyllis yelled, "I love sesame seed chicken!" Gawd!

We headed for home. "That wasn't so hard now, was it Phyllis?" I asked. Her eyes got big again, always an indication that she is having a violent emotional episode. She peeled out and took a corner on two wheels. I thought singing might calm her, so I sang a verse of a long "Oh" syllable, but she started chewing on the steering wheel. This was going to take some time.

I'm going to Florida for a few days, and God only knows how she's going to stay calm while I'm gone.