Pete doesn’t know anything because he never reads. I have never seen him even pick up a book. He can’t name even two former presidents, or the capitols of any state, including the one he lives in. He doesn’t know who his Senators are. He doesn’t know who the Speaker of the House is. He doesn’t know that Africa is a continent and not a country.
When it comes to world history, he couldn’t care less. Ask him his opinion on our involvement in Afghanistan, he will respond with a look as blank as my checkbook register. Ask him his views on evolution, church versus state, abortion, race relations, the Keynesian economics, Marxism, global warming, cap and trade… you’ll get a more intelligent response from Lindsay Lohan.
Pete’s philosophy, if you can call it that, is to live from minute to minute. He doesn’t care about anything in the past nor is he concerned about tomorrow. He doesn’t care about what is going on a block away, in the next county, or on the other side of the globe. It’s a very selfish way to live if you ask me. Selfish and shallow.
A conversation with him is like trying to discuss world affairs with Sarah Palin. It’s not going to go anywhere. And if Tina Fey is Sarah Palin’s alter ego, Pete’s alter ego would be…hmmmmm…Howie Mandel…cute and eager, but hello?...anyone home?
No, Pete will never invent any new software, or a better way to mop up spills. He won’t impact our culture with a new, innovative school of thought. He won’t write the Great American Novel, or win a Nobel Peace prize. But when I come home from work and Pete greets me with his wagging tail and his jiggly dance, I think he’s the smartest dog I know.
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