An Equalizing Universe - Sue

Nature, like Phyllis, abhors a vacuum. And therein lies the conundrum.

Stuff keeps trying to fill up empty space, because that's one of the Universal Laws, of which there are many as we shall see in this series. That stuff keeps trying to fill up empty space is good for jet aircraft and sucking up a vanilla shake in a straw. This is why a nurse can suck up antibiotics in that vial with a needle so you can get a shot in the ass. Ever try to run a back hoe without hydraulics? Give that a go and see how much suction means to you.

But Nature, as we shall see, can be a cruel task master. While stuff is trying to fill up empty space, it smashes up against a law that takes a higher priority in the hierarchy of laws, and that is that stuff can't occupy the same space as something else. This is why bullets kill people. But the bullet has to be going at a good rate of speed, because there is another law that says speed is more powerful than mass. We'll cover that later.

I'm not quite sure how to break this to you, so I'll just say it straight up. The Universe is trying to equalize itself. It's like a big wave that crashes against a rock and then bounces back the other way. All of the particles in the Universe are trying to fill up all the space, bounce against each other, fill up the space, bounce against each other until everything calms down and becomes a placid sea, like early in the morning when you can see the shore reflected in a perfect mirror.

And what, you may be wondering, effect does that have on us? Will our bodies become oozing, viscous gels that slide around like melting ice cream, and then move on to the next stage of becoming vapors floating away in the clouds? No. That's not going to happen. It's not going to happen because we're going to act now to take care of our planet.

Will you join me in saving the human race along with the rest of life on Earth? Or will you stick your head in the sand where your cell phone is there waiting for you to cast your vote on the next American Idol? It's up to you. It's up to me. We're at a turning point in history, where we stand on the precipice that makes our future for us and our children or we can turn into globules of jelly, floating for eternity in nothingness.

"What does it take?" you have a right to ask. "How can I help save us all?" I'll tell you. One dollar. If you each just send me one dollar, I'll have enough to build my spaceship, and it will be big enough for all of us! We will jettison to a different Universe, where they don't have any stupid laws and Phyllis won't abhor a vacuum.

There's No Such Thing as a Stupid Question...Phyllis

If you work for a living, that is you go to a job and have a boss and co-workers, you have to have a rich inner life. If you don’t, you’ll end up just being successful, well-off, and satisfied. I sneak a little bit of myself in to the office with me, though. Just enough to torture myself and the people around me.

My monthly one-on-one appraisals go something like this:

Boss: Phyllis, have you made any progress on the goals we talked about last month?

What I say: Oh, yes. I’m very pleased with my progress and I am very excited about this.

What I think: Nope

Boss: Have you given any thought about some of these items we talked over?

What I say: Yes, I’ve been keeping some notes and I’d like to show you what I have when I get them organized.

What I think: Nope

Boss: Do you have any suggestions on how we can improve our productivity?

What I say: I’ve given a lot of thought to this and I’ve been talking this over with some of the others and I think we have some pretty good ideas.

What I think: I wonder if you can blow bubbles with motor oil.

And here’s another instance where you have to suspend inner urges. After a meeting, they ask for questions. “Anyone? Anyone? There’s no such thing as a stupid question.”
Don’t believe that for a minute. As soon as they ask for questions, every moron in the room shoots his/her hand up.

“I know you said this, but here’s MY special circumstance. How does this apply to ME and MY special circumstance?”

Sit down and shut up!

“Well, I know exactly what you are saying, but can you repeat some of that for some of the others who might not get it?

I wish I had a slingshot.

“I, for one, am glad that we are finally coming down on people who aren’t doing THEIR job. I feel like I’m the ONLY one who follows procedure.”

Are you TRYING to make me vomit?

When the lights dim and the pie chart comes up on the big overhead screen, I nudge the people to the left and right of me, “Let’s not listen!” They scowl at me and sit up a little straighter in their chair and say, “Shhhhh!” And then I’m free to think about what I want to write about for my next day’s post.